French Twist

February 4, 2013
Brooklyn-based parenting writer Crawford, the mother of two young daughters, claims that we have lost control of our children and our lives. Frustrated by her kids’ propensity for throwing tantrums, she notices that the children of her French friends (Brooklyn has a large French population, she observes) are much better behaved. In this charming and clever parenting chronicle, the author decides to “Frenchify” her family, delving more deeply into French parenting practices, interviewing parents, touring France, and taking stock of her own home life in an effort to find the key to why French children seem so polite and cooperative. Crawford reveals that French children sit quietly at the dinner table, don’t talk back, don’t throw tantrums in grocery stores, and somehow manage to skip over the terrible twos. French youngsters come across as respectful and sweet, with a minimum of meltdowns. In France, Crawford discovers, parents are “chiefs” and their rights come first, with privacy and the marriage taking precedence over the demands of children. (French moms, she also finds, tend to give up breast feeding after three months or less.) On the downside, the French spank (an American no-no), tend toward public humiliation as a method of keeping kids in line, and may fall short addressing special needs kids in school. Though some may prefer their naughty kids just the way they are, this breezy, entertaining study of parenting a la Paris may prompt others to pour a café au lait and rethink their strategies.

January 1, 2013
Chronicle of the author's French take on parenting. "It's clear to me," writes Crawford, "that, even as we have tried harder than any of our ancestors to mentor, please, and encourage our kids, we have completely lost control of them, and in the process we've lost control of our own lives as well." With this thought in mind, the author strived to regain jurisdiction in her family, reaching out to her French friends, who seemed to have it together; their children were "obedient, respectful, and, when told to be, quiet." Concerned that American families place too much emphasis on the thoughts and feelings of the child rather than the adult, Crawford established a new paradigm in the household. She and her husband were the undisputed leaders, and they would no longer tolerate the temper tantrums, eye rolling, insults and other shenanigans that they had endured. No more jumping through hoops to ensure that their child's spirits were safe; it was time to take charge and re-enter a world where adults made the laws, not the children. Every time Crawford faltered, she only had to look to her French neighbors for guidance--though she drew the line at spanking, a punishment frequently used in France. The author also compares how the U.S. and French governments treat motherhood and parenting, with the French providing substantial financial support to families from birth to age 18. Presented with a touch of humor and spot-on descriptions of childhood (mis)behavior, the advice, which touches on such topics as breastfeeding and school participation, is practical and useful. A refreshing approach to raising children.

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